Last Saturday night Andrea and I left The Munchkin at home with my niece so we could head out for some good times.

By good times I mean eating dinner, having ice cream, shopping for underwear, then being so bored we just go home and watch a movie.

Yes, we are quite boring and yes we should have gone golfing instead.

I made up my mind earlier in the day to have a salad for dinner and that’s exactly what I did.

Salads at restaurants are never as healthy or waist-line friendly as they seem, but the one I decided on seemed OK from the description.

To put it bluntly, it was just plain gross.

I had a bad salad...but not quite this bad

Loaded with dressing, the chicken was mostly the “throw backs” and I have no idea if the greens were good because the dressing weighed everything down and gave me “Bitter Beer Face” with every bite.

So how do you know if the salad you’re getting at a restaurant is going to be okay?

First, do what I overlooked and always ask for the dressing on the side.

Now that I got that formality out of the way, let’s move on to the real tips.

Look at the type of meat listed.

I would steer clear of the words “chunks of …” because that can mean they used the “throw back” chunks that get discarded from other entrees.  They’re usually all gristle and fat, but disguised to seem healthy.

Look for the words “strips” or “whole” in terms of chicken, steak or fish.

If it’s a big chunk, they can’t hide anything because it’s staring you in the face.

Always make sure the salad includes other greens, fruits and/or veggies.  Things like tomato, cucumber, green beans, broccoli, peas, apples, etc.  If there are a lot of things like croutons, garlic bread, or other processed foods in it, don’t get it.

Avoid any variation of the word “creamy.”

Creamy means you might as well slap the thing to your sides because that’s where it’s going.

Creamy means fat plain and simple.

And this one shouldn’t have to be said, but I know it does…

…don’t get a salad with chunks of fried chicken in it.  Just because it’s chicken and just because it’s a salad doesn’t negate the fact that you’re eating something deep-fried.

If you do decide to poo-poo anything I just told you, at least remember this.  Get a half-order.  Some salads at restaurants can be over 1000 calories – I’m not kidding, I’ve seen the numbers.

Have a great day!

Ed

Do you have any other salad survival tips?  Don’t keep them to yourself.  Share them with everyone by leaving a comment.